


Blame It On The Wine

by inexprymable



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Freakytits - Freeform, The Freak - Freeform, Vinegar Tits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-17 05:26:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4654017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexprymable/pseuds/inexprymable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Different approach at Governor's dinner with Vera in 3x08. What happens when both women get tipsy? Does the alcohol courage change anything? Is Miss Ferguson vulnerable to her deputy at some point?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She was rather playing with her food than actually eating. It's not that the meat wasn't properly cooked. Food was the last thing on Vera's mind at the moment. Suddenly, Joan spoke breaking the pregnant silence.

"Vera, you know that I've always wanted to be more than just as mentor to you." The younger woman grabbed a bite of a salad, listening as her boss continued. "I value our relationship." At that, Vera felt like she needed some alcohol courage. Relationship, huh? That's how the Governor has seen this all along? She took a sip of Pinot. "Let me explain why. I enjoy working with you and I feel that that sense of professional satisfaction is reciprocated. I believe we've developed a rapport based on mutual respect and understanding that transcends our difference in status. Hm? I'm not one to make friends. But I do feel like we still, we share a common philosophy in what it comes to corrections. I do feel like we acted similar in many ways..."

With every single word, Vera didn't know whether to interrupt the woman or wait what else she could make up. She couldn't believe how easily the lies were coming to Governor's mind. When did the older woman act similar to Vera? What were those similarities she was talking about. The second glass of the alcoholic beverage was making deputy governor feel more confident about herself.

"Okay, stop. Stop." She finally managed to say. But she couldn't say whatever she had on mind. She looked into those brown eyes and melted in them. She didn't have a heart to face this problem. Not when she's seen the other woman struggling with finding the suitable words. Brown eyes opened wide in shock at the interruption. Miss Ferguson swallowed the mouthful, dumbfounded.

"What is it, Vera?" The Governor asked. Her eyebrows were shot into her hairline.

The younger woman thought for a second about her answer. What was it, Vera? She quickly analyzed everything the Governor's done to her. She's used her multiple times. She surely made her drunk that one night to find her weak points. She told her to get herself together that day, when she gained the nickname Vinegar Tits. She was Governor's tool. But Miss Ferguson was so kind to her, only to her. She visited her once Vera couldn't make it to the dinner. Decided to prepare food when Vera was taking care of her mother. She invited her over to dinner and started fancy talking. And what for? Was the Governor trying to cover up her lack of empathy towards the other woman when she had a syringe held down the throat, and did nothing? Was it her way of saying 'You mean nothing to me whenever you're weak but I value your loyalty when you're at your best?' Or was the Governor trying to do something of different nature? Vera has heard some rumors of Miss Ferguson and an inmate but it didn't have to mean they were true. Did the Governor like fairer sex? Was she trying to seduce clueless Miss Bennett?

She definitely had to find out. And she wasn't going to crash her evening with baiting about the other woman's different way of showing affection, unless it was pure hate.

The Governor cleared her throat, bringing Vera away from her thoughts. She needed to give her an answer. Otherwise, she would be compared to Mr Fletcher as a sluggard.

"Governor?" She started. "I'm not sure where you are going with your speech." She drained her glass and looked at the other woman. Miss Ferguson opened her mouth to say something but instead, Vera spoke. "I really appreciate the invitation. The dinner is delicious." She glared at her almost full plate and then back to Governor. "I just..." She looked for the adequate words. "I find it really hard to focus on food while you are looking at me like that." She soundly gulped and internally slapped herself for what she said.

"Does eating dinner with your boss make you feel uncomfortable? It undoubtedly wasn't a problem a few months back. Has anything changed between us since then? Vera, talk to me." The Governor was very persuasive because Vera was going to tell her everything. But she couldn't. She couldn't voice her thoughts. Of course, a lot of things have changed since that night.

"Joan..." She noticed the Governor's face softened at the use of her name. She tried to change the angle of the conversation. She needed to keep her game up. "It's nothing like that. I simply wonder if anything is bothering you. You seem tense. I, you said you are not the one to make friends but if, if you'd like to talk, I'm here." She mentally cursed herself. The woman could plan this dinner as a bait and she was offering her her shoulder. She smiled and hoped it would pass.

Miss Ferguson was ogling her for a while before she started cutting another piece of meat. "Thank you for your concern."

Vera's stomach silently twisted and she decided to come back to her plate. She hoped the other woman didn't hear the growl. She was eating slowly, even slower than the Governor who looked like she was counting how many times she bit one bite. Once they finished, Miss Ferguson offered Vera the couch in living room. She followed the hostess and took a sit at the opposite side of the furniture. The taller woman took the remaining wine with her.

"Relax, Vera, I don't bite." But you're killing me with your eyes, she thought.

Blue eyed woman leaned in the couch and started sipping her drink. While she was at three quarters of her second glass, the Governor was bringing a new bottle to refill her third. There was something on the other woman's mind, but she wasn't going to share it with her deputy. Vera wondered if the alcohol could change it.

"I've noticed some closeness between you and Mister Fletcher." She narrowed her already sharp gaze. "I was wondering if you two are," she continued, but the hesitation was definitely noticed by the smaller woman. "seeing one another, again."

Vera chocked at her wine and put the glass on the coffee table. "Excuse me, Governor, I don't know how it is any of your business." Miss Ferguson's nostrils flared but Vera kept talking. "However, I gave up on him long time ago. We're just being friendly." She took a hold on the glass once more. "I'm surprised why would you ask me about it. Are you jealous, Miss Ferguson?" Before she realized, she wiggled her left eyebrow. Then, she widened her eyes in shock. She drained another glass. "I'm sorry, I'm being too forward. It, it's the wine." To the woman's astonishment, the Governor let out a big throaty laugh.

"It's fine, Vera. You look like you're finally enjoying the evening."

"And you sound like you are avoiding the answer."

This time, the other woman didn't laugh. She looked somewhere between surprised and shocked.

"Why would I be jealous if you claimed there is nothing between you and Mr Fletcher?" Her voice remained cool and only slightly slurry but her hand holding the glass tightened around it.

"You didn't deny it, though." Vera admitted.

The younger woman was in a hold of the situation and Miss Ferguson felt unsteadily about it. She looked at the empty glass in her hands, trying to avoid the deputy's eyes. Vera, being insignificantly groggy, put her free hand on Governor's hand. "It's okay..."

"No, it's not." She stiffened at the touch and freed her hand from Vera's. "I think we should call it a night, don't you?" As she started standing up, Vera stopped her, putting her hand around Miss Ferguson's wrist. "Vera..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Vera..." The Governor looked into her deputy's blue eyes and saw something new in them. Was it an influence of the alcohol? No, it wasn't there before. Did Vera feel startled? Certainly not. The older woman has seen this gaze only once before, many years ago. It couldn't be that, could it? Was Vera looking at her with a lustful stare? Or maybe she was only playing a game, so she could humiliate Miss Ferguson for misinterpreting the situation?

"Joan?" Her voice was soft. She traced the inside of the other woman's forearm with her thumb. She noticed the flinch of muscles and a slight goosebumps going up her arm. Her suspicions were true, or she was wholly wrong and Miss Ferguson felt disgust. It was really hard to tell. The taller woman's face was extremely hard to read, especially in this light. The smaller woman decided to stand up. She had to look up to notice the bewilderment in Joan's eyes. She put her hand higher until she was able to track the muscled bicep. "Tell me you don't feel this, Joan." She didn't have to finish the sentence. The Governor didn't have to be a genius to find out what was it about. She didn't answer verbally, but the blush coloring her cheeks was the answer itself.

Vera couldn't think of anything else than huge brown pupils that were staring at her with astonishment. The other woman's fault long forgotten, she brought her cool hand to Governor's warm cheek. Another inflow of horripilation betrayed her feelings. To both women's surprise, Miss Ferguson leaned into the touch of cold flesh against her skin. She closed her eyes thinking that if she opened them, Vera would be gone. So she tried to keep them shut but the urge to glare at the younger woman was stronger.

Not only she was still there. She stood closer than a few seconds ago. Unless it was her imagination. Unless it all was just a dream. But Vera took one step towards her, closing the gap between their bodies. She felt Joan's breasts pressing into the space between her chin and collarbones and giggled at the ridiculous difference in their heights. The Governor backed away, hearing the silent laughter. Miss Bennett followed her. The taller woman made a step back, the smaller made a step forward, until Joan reached the wall. She had to escape her deputy or give in. But she was too shocked to do anything. She waited for blue eyed woman's next step.

It wasn't a slap, or bursting with laughter, or calling her names. Vera's next action wasn't the attack on the Governor. It was an attack on Joan's lips. She was practically standing on her toes, climbing the taller woman's body. She was firmly holding onto her arms trying not to lose balance. Her lips were very gentle, planting small kisses on thin lips. The Governor didn't have time to argue at her forwardness. She claimed Joan's bottom lip between her own, causing the other woman moan.

It was going so well, until Vera's toes couldn't hold her weight anymore. She fully pressed herself onto Ferguson's toned body. Thankfully, strong arms caught her before she started falling backward. Joan decided to use this situation to change their positions. She put her hands on Vera's small frame and raised her, than pushed her onto the wall. She approached her, keeping her in place. She felt fine legs circling her middle. This time, it was Joan who started the kiss. It wasn't subtle anymore. Their tongues tangled, fighting for room was filled with moans of pleasure.

It was Vera who broke the kiss. Joan growled with disappointment but then she felt warm lips dancing on her neck. When Vera added the tongue, the kisses were leaving a wet trail. The chill of the evening air was pecking the skin. The lower Vera's mouth was, the more intensive was tingling between Joan's legs. She could feel her panties getting damp. The younger woman reached the collarbone and sucked on it, causing Governor gasp. When she reached Joan's blouse, she lowered her hands to the hem and slowly took it off the other woman. Her eyes wandered to the full breasts covered in black lace lingerie.

Governor felt completely vulnerable to the smaller hands, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. Holding the other woman up the wall became more difficult when Vera attacked the semi erect nipple. The delight was making her knees weak. She carefully let the younger woman down and detached her lips from her swollen breast. "You are unacceptably overdressed." She whispered as she took Vera's sweater off her shoulders and forcefully unbuttoned her shirt, making a few buttons pop. She also managed to take off her slacks, leaving the smaller woman in nothing but underwear. She blushed when she realized her panties didn't match her bra but the feeling went away, as she assumed they would be quickly decorating the floor.

Joan took Vera's hand and started leading her towards the corridor, supposedly to the bedroom, but Miss Bennett dragged her to the couch instead. "I don't think I can wait that long, Governor." She smiled, showing her pearly white teeth. She waited as the older woman seated herself on the soft couch, so she could sit on her lap. She raised a bit and tucked on Joan's hips ans tugged on her black slacks, pulling them off her legs. She sat on her lap once more and faced the other woman. She started from french kissing her lips, soon bringing her lips to the breast that hasn't been touched just yet. As she was playing with it, Joan started working on Vera's bra, throwing it on the floor. Her OCD didn't matter at the moment. She was too invested with stroking her hands on the younger woman's bare sides.

She didn't fight the urge to touch Vera's breasts. She cupped them as if they were very fragile. Then, she took both nipples between her fingers and she felt as they become hard. The moans were louder and more frequent. When Joan felt Vera's wetness on her thighs, she felt a pool of arousal down her own body. Just as they were going further and further, separated herself from the other woman.

"Vera?" The Governor asked. She didn't understand what caused the sudden change of behavior. "What is it?" She asked, reaching for deputy's waist and bringing her closer. The smaller woman looked down as she was steadying her breath.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea." She said in a barely audible whisper. She couldn't even bring herself to look at Joan. She felt the grip in her middle loosen and continued. "I've never been intimate with a woman." She sighed at the confession and tried to turn around but Joan prevented her from this, pulling her back onto her lap.

"We don't have to do this." She kissed the woman's shoulder. Her eyes were full of disappointment, but she didn't want to push Vera. "It's okay." She put her hand on the small of her back and caressed it reassuringly.

Vera looked into her eyes with a blurry vision. "No, it's not."


	3. Chapter 3

"I've never been intimate with a woman."

"We don't have to do this. It's okay."

"No, it's not."

Joan noticed Vera standing up and picking her clothes from the floor. The woman was dressing up. She wasn't able to button up the shirt with her trembling hands. She looked like a little child who broke the vase in the living room, waiting for being scolded. She had unshed tears in her eyes. Joan put her arms across her chest to cover herself. She didn't move, only observed what was occurring in front of her. She didn't have a clue what went wrong. She was staring. Vera quickly finished and left without even saying goodbye.

Joan made sure Vera was away. She made her way towards the door and locked it. Then, she started punching the wall with her fist until it hurt her. She noticed the aquarium with a goldfish inside. She took it in both of her hands and forcefully threw it against the floor. When she was looking for another thing to break, she noticed two wine glasses, the ones that she and Vera used. She smashed them one after another. She ran out of glass dishes. She opened the top drawer with cutlery in it and threw its content all over the floor. The next thing she could remember was someone calling her name. "Joan. Joan..."

She leaned onto the air, as if someone was holding her. She fell on the floor, injuring her bare knees with broken glass. She mumbled something and started crying. She deeply inhaled and repeated a few times "I'm a freak, I'm a freak, I'm a freak...". She ran out of tears. "I am, dad." She whispered like she was talking to somebody. She tried to control her breath. She looked at the goldfish, slowly dying from the lack of air.

The next morning, Vera woke up with a massive headache. Her body wasn't handling the alcohol well. Her mind was blank but as soon as she took the aspirin, the flashes of memories attacked her mind. She sighed heavily. What has she done? How could she talk to her boss like that? How could she touch her? How could she kiss her? How could she... What was she thinking? She silently promised herself she would never drink again. But she was saying the same after the going out with Linda. And after drinking with Governor a few months ago. She felt like the history was repeating itself. Wasn't it like that with Fletch? The only difference was the setting and the fact that he was the one who left.

Why did she leave? She couldn't find the answer. She wasn't thinking clearly starting all this. The leaving was also unplanned.

She took a cold shower and started dressing up to work. She glanced over at the pile of clothes from the last night. She realized she forgot to take her bra from Joan's. She didn't even thing about going back to Ferguson's house to pick it up. Wouldn't last night's encounter with the Governor complicate things at work? Would she be able to look into those eyes ever again? Would she be able to be with that woman in the same room without making things awkward? Those questions were bugging her during her way to prison. She approached the prison gate, hoping she wouldn't see the Governor for another couple of hours.

Vera's life has never been how she wanted it to be. With a corner of her eye, she noticed the tall woman. Instead of running inside, she waited for her. Vera, being Vera, got nervous and started rambling, when the Governor was an earshot away. "Um, last night, is it..."

"Is it what, Vera?" Joan looked somewhat different. It was in her facial expression. She didn't wasn't her intimidating self. She didn't even look angry. Her eyes weren't full with lust. They seemed very small. Did the Governor feel hurt?

"Is it going to affect my career?" She didn't want to talk to the Governor but she had to know. She needed to make sure if the other woman had a problem with their situation. If so, she could say goodbye to her position of deputy governor.

Joan looked at her with her piercing eyes. Her words felt like daggers. Why did Vera become co professional? Was she playing her all along? What was her goal? What did she want to achieve? She put on the neutral mask on her face, took a few breaths and said "Last night never happened. After you." She pointed at the opened gate. She watched as Vera entered the prison area and walked behind her, processing what she's just experienced.

She entered her office and pulled the blinds down, closing herself off from the outside world. She put her black jacket inside the locker, or rather a small wardrobe. She exchanged it for a Governor's blazer and put on a tie. She sat behind her desk and logged onto the prison server. She went through some reports. The morning was rather quiet. No one hasn't done anything wrong yet. Watching the CCTV bored the Governor. She started playing with her pencils.

She tried to keep her emotions to herself but as soon as Vera's posture appeared on the screen of her computer, she couldn't focus on anything else. She was replaying the events of the previous night in her head, trying to find out what went wrong. Was it because Joan was woman? Why would Vera make out with her if she felt distaste? Was she trying to hurt Governor's feelings? What did actually happen? Maybe she should blame in on the alcohol.

She put her pencils in place, almost as if she used a ruler. Then, someone barged in into her office. She was turned towards the screen of her computer, doing her best to avoid her intruder's gaze. "I'm occupied at the moment." She tried to dismiss the other person. She heard a slam of her door and clicking of heels getting closer and closer. "Vera, I told you I'm..." She didn't get to finish the sentence because she got interrupted.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." The younger woman confessed. She attempted to remain calm but her effort didn't last long. Her glance fell to the floor.

"Do you think about it as a mistake?"

"Yes." Her voice cracked. Joan's face hardened. She felt an ache inside her.

"Get out of my office." She said louder than intended. Maybe even too loud.

Vera jumped, slightly startled. She was striving to keep the tears from falling but failed. She sobbed and turned on her heel. Right when she took a hold of the handle, she looked at the other woman. "Just to be clear, it's not snogging you that I regret." She opened the door and was about to cross it, but Joan was faster. She stood up, made her way to the door, pushed closing it and looked deeply into Vera's eyes.

"What it is that you regret?" Her voice was a whisper.

"Leaving you like this."

When she spoke those words, something broke inside Joan. She gulped and blinked a few times, hoping to wash out the tears, but they came ultimately.


	4. Chapter 4

The Governor was flooded with tears. She turned from Vera, not being able to face her at the moment. Just when she was about to approach the window, she felt a pressure on her left shoulder. She remained in that position and waited for her deputy's move. She sobbed a few times and the tears were still running. Did she mean it? Did Vera want to stay the night?

The shorter woman made a few steps forward. She looked at Joan's reddened face and put her hand up. "Don't." She heard Governor's stiff voice. She ignored it and started gently wiping the tears away. Ferguson's breath became shallow and more frequent. The taller woman wasn't sure what was happening. Her knees buckled. Within seconds, she fell forward, pinning Vera to the wall with her weight.

Vera put her arms around the muscled frame and lowered them both to the level of the floor. Her back was still leaning against the cool wall. The other woman was holding onto her, curled in a fetal position. She didn't know what caused it but didn't care. The only thing she had in mind was comforting Joan. She realized seeing her in that state was unbearable. She wanted to bring her release. She undid the Governor's usual bun and ran her hand through thick black hair with a few white strands. The other hand was caressing the small of her back in attempt to calm her nerves.

After what seemed like hours, Vera's transmitter made a noise. "Go." Joan whispered against the small body underneath her own. When Vera didn't response, the Governor put her head up and nodded with a weak smile. She detached herself from the other woman and reached for the hairband. She was fixing her hair, watching Vera smoothing her uniform. She got another call and left, giving her boss a genuine smile.

Vera saw her vulnerable, weak. She saw her at her worst. And yet, she stayed. Why would she stay with someone like Joan? Why would she bother caring about the Freak? Nothing made sense anymore. She felt embarrassed for crying out her eyes in front of her deputy. But the other woman wasn't just a deputy. She was her Vera. And her Vera was the woman who had a syringe down her throat and Joan didn't move an inch. Her Vera didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to be dealing with Joan's issues, with her outbursts and mostly, with her inner demons. That was why she never wanted to get close to anybody. After Jianna's death, she's changed for worse. She didn't want to get attached because she never wanted her loved one to see her like that, to see the real Freak. Perhaps it wasn't too late for Vera, but Joan didn't want to lose her.

When Joan's shift ended, she started collecting her belongings. She was surprised by a silent knock in her door. She turned her head but before she could say anything, the other person was already in. "I think it would be best for us if we didn't see one another outside the prison." She said. She zipped her jacket and took the bag from the counter.

"Why are you doing this?" The smaller woman asked. She was standing in the entrance, making it impossible to pass. Joan tried to push her, using barely any force, to make space for her. Her effort did nothing to Vera, as she stood still. "What are you afraid of?" That was a good question. She didn't get a response but that was something she expected. She took Governor's right hand into her left and squeezed it.

"Vera, don't." She freed her hand and put an invisible strand of hair behind her ear in a nervous manner.

The smaller woman ignored that. She took a step further and placed her hand on Governor's hip. She noticed the sensation it caused. She took another step further but in the same time Joan took a step back. Vera pushed the doors closed with her toe and put her own bag on the floor. "We're still inside the prison, Governor." She purred and started planting small kisses on an exposed part of Joan's neck.

Ferguson put her hand up in attempt to stop the other woman. She understood her mistake when the hand pressed onto Vera's breast. She took the hand away and excused Vera. "Let's not, not in the office. I, let me take you home." She struggled with finding the words. Her mind was nearly entirely blank. She made her way towards the door and waited for Vera impatiently. "What are you waiting for?" She asked.

"You said home." Vera admitted, her eyes wide opened.

"I meant my home." The taller woman corrected herself and opened the door. Vera was walking right behind her. She had a huge smile plastered to her face.

Once they got inside Governor's car, the silence surrounded them. They shared a few knowing glances. Vera managed to accidentally touch Joan's hand, when she was changing gears. When they were on Joan's porch, they were sitting still. Neither moved. Neither said a word. They looked at one another and chuckled into the silence. Joan opened her door and started taking off. "Are you coming? Or would you rather stay in the car?" Vera slowly took off. Her movements were lazy. "I can assure you, I don't bite." She waited for Vera to approach her, than she put her hand around the smaller woman's waist. "That is, unless you'd like that." Vera looked at her with a mortified expression. "I, I shouldn't say that." Joan took a step back from her. The deputy laughed and the Governor gave her a confused look.

"Oh, Joan." She said before she wrapped her hands around her neck and pulled her into a heated kiss. "I guess, this time you can't blame it on the wine." She said against Joan's lips and grinned, completely ruining the kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

When they entered Joan's house, she chivalrously took Vera's jacket from her. While she was putting it inside a closet, the other woman approached a small table. As soon as Joan was in an earshot her, she looked at her with a questioning gaze and asked. "Where is your goldfish?" After a while without an answer she tried to silently convince herself the fish has just ... died.

The taller woman turned slightly and sighed. She started making her way towards the kitchen. She reached for the fridge's door. Everything inside was well organized. There were labels on each shelf. She started taking out the vegetables and told Vera to pick the wine. "The wine has a strange influence on me." The Governor smiled at her. "It makes me say things. I get inappropriately blunt." She blushed and shyly took a bottle.

Joan laughed. "I don't mind. In fact, I think it gives you more courage. You don't hold anything back." She began preparing the dish. The onion has already been chopped. When all ingredients were cut in precise pieces, she washed the cutting board and cleaned the worktop until it was shining. She scrubbed her hands before touching the meat. Vera was watching with amazement.

"Did you use the sanitizer after our snogging session yesterday?" She chuckled but noticed the lack of amusement on Joan's face. She remembered that few times, when the Governor disinfected her hands after shaking them with somebody. She quickly regretted asking that question, Maybe there was something more to the obsessive need of getting rid of the germs. What if she found out about Vera's hepatitis? Would she ever want to touch her again after that?

Joan finished cooking in silence. She didn't want to ruin the night talking about not important things. She instructed Vera about setting the table and brought the dish to the living room. She opened the wine and took the other woman's glass to fill it. "I'm not drinking tonight." Said Vera and covered the top of her glass with a hand.

"Don't be ridiculous." Joan threw her a glance and tilted her head. "It's just one glass." It came out as a pout. "Goes well with the food." Vera couldn't resist Governor's puppy eyes. The liquid filled the glass with a quiet sound of pouring alcohol. "Why aren't you eating, Vera?" The Governor asked. She put the fork down and placed her hand on Vera's. She was drawing small circles on the other woman's hand with her perfectly manicured thumb. She hadn't the slightest idea about the sensation her gentle gesture caused.

The younger woman tried to cross her legs. Her awkwardness made her hit the table with her knee. It didn't go unnoticed by the Governor. Joan's hand kept caressing her own, Vera felt tingling traveling down her body. She broke the contact and brought her hand to her lap. "What is it?" Joan asked. A huge blush was spread on Vera's cheeks. She tried to look away but she got even more embarrassed. Forgetting what she said earlier, she drained her wine at once. Joan smiled to herself but it quickly faded. Was Vera forcing herself to this? Is that why she needed the alcohol, to loosen up?

Instead of telling the other woman how wet she was making her, Vera decided to say something else. She well remembered Ferguson's reaction to her teasing the other day. "Fletch asked me if I wanted to visit him." At the mention of his name, Joan subconsciously formed a fist. "He's still having trouble with his memory." Joan's nostrils flared. "He said he would like me to help him remember." Her nails drew blood on the inside of her hand. Vera giggled. "Joan, am I, talking about Fletch, am I making you uncomfortable?"

Joan wiped the blood with the napkin. It was absolutely unhygienic but she didn't want to add to that show of Vera's. She knew well what she was up to. She faked a smile. "NoT aT all." She punctuated the Ts. "Actually, I'd like to know what was your answer to Mr Fletcher's offer." She continued eating. The pieces of her meal were like sandpaper to her dry out of frustration throat. Vera wasn't able to eat all the content of her plate. When she felt like she had enough, she stood up. "You don't need to take care of the plates. You're my guest and I won't allow..."

Vera interrupted, not letting finish Joan's sentence. "I won't be taking care of the plates." She gave her a smile she's never seen. Was it a seductive smile? She made her way to Joan, only to stand between the table and the woman. The other woman raised her chair and moved slightly backward, making room for whatever Vera was doing.

"What will you be taking care of, then?" She asked, not certain what was about to happen. She tried to keep her voice steady. She didn't want to give Vera a hint of her aroused state.

Just when she was about to protest, Vera sat on her lap, wide open legs. She leaned and took Joan's earlobe between her teeth and pulled it lightly. "You." She purred in her ear. She was kissing the way to the woman's neck, tugging it gently, leaving small red spots on the exposed skin. Joan was trying as hard as she could to remain silent, but she wasn't able to stifle a moan that has escaped her throat. Vera smiled against her skin and continued. She took off Governor's tie and started unbuttoning her shirt.

The older woman tried to protest but decided she wouldn't want to interrupt the other woman. The shirt was already laying on the floor. Vera brought Joan's hands to the back of the chair. The Governor wanted to moved her hands to the front, to caress smaller woman's body, but then she noticed her wrists were captivated with the handcuffs. "When did you..." She asked between the moans. Vera smirked and silenced her with her lips, kissing Joan with more courage than earlier.


	6. Chapter 6

"I need you to be quiet." Vera commanded. For once, she wanted to be the one in charge. Even though she was lacking experience, she had quite the imagination. She's never had the courage to do anything of this nature, not that she has anyone to do this with. Her warm lips were sending chills down Joan's body. She didn't hesitate to bite into the flesh.

"I thought you were all vanilla." Vera shushed her and started unclasping her bra, this time white and silky. She looked at the perky breasts emerged from underneath the fabric. She took her left nipple inside her mouth and curled her tongue around it. It made Joan let out a sound of pleasure. "It's always the quiet ones." She chuckled. The smaller woman stopped immediately. She pushed Joan's plate away and seated herself on the table.

"You were supposed to be quiet." She teased.

The Governor was still self confident. "Or what?" She threw Vera a challenge. She had to see what else Vera had up her sleeve. She smiled, waiting for her next move. The other woman grinned viciously. She began sliding off her work shirt from her hips, along with her tights and panties. She brought Joan's chair closer and separated her own legs, revealing glistening from arousal folds. Vera's scent hit Joan's nostrils, automatically drawing her closer. "Uncuff me, Vera." Joan pleaded. It made the smaller woman laugh. "This wasn't a suggestion." She was clearly frustrated. The deputy cupped her face and brought it right between her legs. Joan's nose bumped into Vera's hot center. This small action caused her insides clench. The older woman drew the tongue over the exposed part of her body. Vera undoubtedly tasted magnificently, what Joan confirmed with humming. She was moving her tongue, collecting the dropping wetness. She couldn't believe how drenched Vera was. She worked up a rhythm, moving along with the pulsating core.

"J-Joan!" Vera cried with the most pleasurable frequency the other woman's heard in a long time. The Governor was drinking on the spilling juices and sucking the hardened nub until, then she touched a certain could tell her deputy was close but instead of giving her what she wanted, she started licking around the incredibly sensitive area. The other woman growled. "P-lease!" She stuttered. Joan smiled and leaned away.

"Uncuff me."

"No!" she was panting. Her core was filled with want. She put her legs on the back of Joan's chair, making it impossible to escape. She grasped the back of her head, drawing her straight to the hot destination. The captured woman continued her previous actions, driving Vera to the edge. The gasping woman, who was holding herself up on her elbows, fell on the table with a loud thud while riding her euphoric sensation with Joan's tongue. The woman underneath could feel the clench of her walls on top of her oral muscle in the accompany of Vera's voice, screaming her name in satisfaction.

Joan was observing Vera's shirt covered chest, slowly rising and falling. She asked half recovered woman "Can you set me free?".

Heavy breathing, she managed to form an answer. "Not just yet." She put herself up and slid off the table to stand on shaky legs. She spoke, once she was stable. "Take your chair and turn it in my direction." She barely let it out of her mouth, not caring how convincing it was. Joan did what she was told. Vera approached her and pointing to her pelvis, she made a come hither move with her forefinger. The older woman bucked her hips and Vera removed her slacks. Then, she made her way to the back of the chair and took off the handcuffs. She quickly sat on Joan's lap and attacked her mouth with her own. She felt the hardened nipples pressing down her shirt.

Joan's hands were creeping to the front, caressing Vera's clothed abdomen. In the blink of an eye, her hands were cuffed once more. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked with displeasure. She was brought to the floor, wearing only thin panties.

"Shush." Vera stood up and loosened her tie, then unbuttoned her shirt. She threw them to the floor, soon followed by her camisole. "On your knees." She had more authority in her voice. When the woman didn't move, she repeated, only slower. "On. Your. Knees." She was looking at Joan, who decided to listen and knelt right behind her. She pressed her small body to Joan's, her bosom touching the middle of the other woman's back. The height difference mattered for once, but she decided to finish what she started. She put her hand on Governor's lower abdomen. Her finger danced on the band of her panties until she moved her hand into the nether region. Joan's immediate reaction was a loud gasp and leaning to the front. "Keep your back straight." Vera commanded. She enjoyed being in this position, maybe even too much. Her small fingers were soundly moving through Joan's core. "You're drenched." She purred. She quickly forgot she was doing it for the first time in her life. Her clumsiness happened to work on the other woman. She was playing with her clitoris, causing her whimper. She's never suspected Joan's voice to be so high pitched.

She moved to the labia, softly massaging it, then pressed her hand hard and made Joan squeal. Her other hand wandered to Joan's breast, cupping it, then focusing on her nipple, pinching it slightly from time to time. Joan couldn't remain long in that position, she flexed in half. Vera leaned to the wall and grabbing her in the middle, brought Joan with herself. It didn't take much effort, since the wall was a foot away. She went on doing enjoyable things to the other woman's body, doing better than in the beginning. The atmosphere was filled with cries, moans and wet sounds of fingers doing their best to bring Joan the delight. Joan's knees buckled but Vera didn't stop until the taller woman collapsed on her. She took of her hand from the panties with extreme tenderness, then kissed Joan's blade-bone.

She moved her hands to the front and caressed Governor's hands, until she reached her wrists. She took the shackles off permanently. "Here you go." She whispered and put some strands of hair behind her ear.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as Joan recovered from Vera's care, the women moved to the couch, covering themselves with a blanket to save the rest of their long gone dignity. They quickly drifted off to sleep laying in one another's arms. Neither of them was used to it but it seemed natural. The hedonistic atmosphere was broken early in the morning. Both, Governor and her deputy's phones went ringing around four. Vera, who was a light sleeper thanks to her mother never hesitating to call for her at any hour, woke up first. She put Joan's phone on silent mode, mostly because she didn't want to wake her for nothing. She then answered her own phone, being as silent as she could, still wrapped in the other woman's embrace.

"Vera Bennett," she was looking at Joan, waiting for a sign of her being awake. The caller went on. "What happened?" She made a sudden move, separating herself from the Governor, making the older woman hit the bed with her hair. "Shit" Vera told to herself but the person on the other side of the line heard it as well. "Oh, I meant, I'll be right there." She finished the call and looked over at half awake woman.

"Vera? Who was that?" She mumbled and managed to fully open her eyes. She covered her naked chest with the blanket and sat up.

The smaller woman gulped and looked down. Her breath was shorter and shallower than minutes before. "It's nothing, I, I better go." She stuttered and stood up, forgetting she was naked from waist down. "It was a nice evening, Joan." She said as she grabbed her panties and put them on.

Joan glared at the screen of her phone. There was a coming phone call from Wentworth. "Why did you silence my phone?" She asked.

"You were asleep." Vera stated, already dressed, only looking for her shoes." I didn't want to wake you."

Joan wrapped herself in a blanket like a burrito and approached the other woman. She looked down at her, deep into blue eyes. She wanted to force Vera with her look to give her the answer. "Were you on the phone with someone from Wentworth?" Her sight only intensified as Vera wasn't replying for a moment.

Finally, she gave in, not being able to stand the pressure. She took a step back. "Yes." She said. She looked around for her blazer but couldn't find it. Just when she noticed it thrown over the back of the couch, Joan extended her arm to stop her. Vera tried to fight her but she didn't have a chance to win with the taller woman. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

"It could be something important." She said and let go of her grip, making her blanket fall carelessly to the floor. She tried to cover herself but Vera stopped her, putting the smaller hands on the bigger ones.

"It's nothing I haven't seen." She stated.

Governor only turned around and crossed her arms on her chest. "Please, don't look at me now. Not when I'm vulnerable." She winced. "Tell me what was it. I'm needed there." She insisted.

Vera picked the blanket from the floor and made her way to the other woman, covering her arms with it. Joan flinched, only to bury herself into the fluffy fabric. "I'm not certain whether to tell you or not." She whispered and turned to her left to grab the last piece of her clothing. She headed towards the door and turned around after a few steps. "It's Anderson. She's giving birth now."

"Wait!" Joan screamed. She vividly made it through the living room to reach the other woman.

Vera raised her hand to stop her. "You need to get dressed. I'll wait." She said as the other woman was making her way up the stairs. Why would Joan want to be there so badly? The deputy had thoughts of Governor being close to that inmate, whatever her name was. She remembered a few women at Wentworth talking about it but it couldn't be truth, could it? Could Joan Ferguson risk her career for some pregnant girl? And what about Anderson? She well remembered that few times when the Governor gave her a special treatment. She brought Doreen ice cream in the middle of the night. She paid her a few visits in Anderson's cell. Why did she have a soft spot for her? Why did she bother to invite Vera over? Did she even care about her?

She didn't have much time to overthink all of it. The Governor was ready and making her way to the door. "Come on, Vera. We don't have all day."

They were in front of the prison in no time. Vera was silent, not wanting to startle the vexed woman. When they reached the parking lot, Vera told Joan to stay inside. She needed to find out if the woman really care about her or if she was using her. She took a deep breath. "Joan, during the riot I had a syringe to my throat. I have hepatitis." She confessed. The other woman didn't respond. She looked at her with her usual emotionless face and took off the car. Neither said a word until they entered a room with a shouting woman inside.

Doreen was certainly in labor.

Joan stormed inside the room and put on the rubber gloves, then stood next to the inmate. "Where the fuck is Nash?" Doreen screamed on the top of her lungs and grabbed Governor's hand, then squeezed it tightly. She was breathing heavily from her cramps.

"It's just pain, Doreen. It's just pain." Joan tried to reassure her. She was too focused on the woman in pain to hear anything the nurse said.

Just then, Vera entered the room. "The ambulance has been delayed. The traffic..."

"No. No. No! Get out. Get out! Now! Out! Now!" The Governor screamed. Vera turned on her heel and left immediately. She was walking the corridor with the tears going down her face. At that moment she was glad she didn't wear mascara. She went to the staff room and closed the door behind her. She leaned on the door and slid down until her bum reached the floor. She realized she couldn't breathe. She was trying to gasp for air but failed at every attempt. She moved away from the door and shifted but it only made it worse.

Someone entered the room and knelt beside her but she didn't know who it was. Vera's eyes closed and her hearing became dim. She only felt somebody's arm on her shoulder and a hand on top of her chest. It laid there as her breathing calmed. Then, someone put her head on their lap and caressed her hair. After what seemed like hours, she slightly opened her eyes. She noticed the Governor asleep, holding her in a caring grasp.


	8. Chapter 8

Vera felt like she could get used to falling asleep in Joan's arms. She smiled at the heat radiating from the other woman's body. She was enjoying the moment when it lasted, until she heard Joan inhaling then exhaling sharply. She was waking up. Her grip on the smaller woman's frame loosened as she realized what brought her to the floor.

Vera moved away from the other woman and stood up. She put her tie on its place and ran her hand through tousled hair. She was turned from the other woman with her back. She didn't know what her presence meant. Was she looking after her or was it another game? Vera was overwhelmed with the feeling of being used. She let the Governor do things to her. She was the one to insinuate them. Yet, she felt used. "Did the last two days mean anything to you?" She asked.

"Vera, you know better than to ask..."

She turned to face the Governor. "Listen! I told you about my condition because I trusted you. I told you about Fletch because I trusted you. Hell, I did things to you, things I've never done to anyone. But it doesn't matter anymore, does it? My disease disgusts you. You don't need to pretend ..."

Joan approached her. "I'm not pretending." She draw her hand to Vera's cheek but the other woman stepped away.

"I disgust you, don't I? I'm just your little toy. I easily fell into your embrace and you're enjoying it. Just when I wasn't convenient anymore, you wanted me out. Now you just feel sorry." She swallowed back her tears and waited for a response.

Joan put her head down. Her little mouse was right. She was playing with her. She treated her like crap. But she wasn't like that anymore, was she? "I couldn't have you there with me."

"Bullshit. Don't tell me you gave Anderson the special treatment because you felt like it. You fancy her. I noticed it, the prisoners noticed it." She was talking in the tone she's never used before.

"It's not like that."

"The gossips are true, then? You like young pregnant inmates. What does that make me?"

A hushed whisper came out of Joan's mouth. "Don't talk about my Jianna." She turned around and headed to the door. She attempted to hide her tears but the loud sobs made it impossible. She wanted to get out of the room. That woman wasn't her Vera anymore. She walked through the empty corridors of the prison, making her way to the parking lot. Silent clicking of heels was following her, but she stretched her long legs wider and walked faster. She couldn't handle any more humiliation.

But Vera walked fast enough to catch the Governor before she reached her car. She grabbed her arm from behind and didn't let go, until the strong muscles underneath relaxed. She made two steps further, standing in front of the taller woman. She noticed dried tears on Joan's red face and swollen eyes. She wanted to reach out her small hands and caress the other woman's cheeks but she couldn't.

"Why did you tell me to get out of there?" She silently asked. Her voice was empty. Joan gazed into Vera's eyes only to look away. She couldn't stand the sensation of the younger woman's look. Even after that she could feel the blue orbs piercing holes in her skull. The smaller woman wanted to ask the Governor to respond but she had to do it the right way. She cleared her throat. Seeing the other woman's weaknesses made her feel tall. She took a step further and Joan backed up. Vera approached her one more time to see her recede. After making a few steps backward, Joan hit the fence with her back. Vera pressed herself closer to her, making her heartbeat dangerously fast.

She couldn't decide if she was shocked, frightened or turned on by her deputy's actions. She achingly wanted to take the charge but she wasn't strong enough. She was waiting for whatever Vera was going to do. She couldn't read her face. She didn't know what to expect. When nothing happened, Joan let out a long sob. "I'm sorry." She whispered in a husked tone. Vera's expression didn't change. "I failed you."

The deputy snored.

"I failed you." Joan repeated. "I failed daddy." She let out a tear. "I failed Jianna."

"Don't say that."

"I don't recall requesting you pity." Vera let go of her. "I didn't want to make that mistake again. I didn't want to disappoint you. But I did. And I'm terribly sorry." She started walking in the direction of her car. She was still in Vera's earshot but didn't turn back. "I am a Freak." She hoped the other woman would walk away. She got inside her car and fastened the seat belt.

When she was about to start the car, Vera got inside as well. Once she closed the door, she turned her face to Joan's. "You're not a Freak." The Governor looked at her, dumbfounded, her eyes wide opened. The deputy put her hand gently on Joan's knee and squeezed it reassuringly. Joan flinched at the contact. She glanced at the small hand and smiled. It didn't go unnoticed by Vera. "For the record, I'm not over your reaction to my confession."

Joan nodded. She opened her mouth to say something, but the words didn't come. She run her right hand down the steering wheel, pleased with the softness of leather. She ran her fingers up. Vera was still in her car. Vera was still touching her knee. The younger woman's hand was beaming with heat through Joan's slacks straight to her core, and she didn't even move it.

Joan's cheeks were flushed. Vera felt some kind of satisfaction from causing it, even if it was unintentional.


	9. Chapter 9

Vera Bennett was the worst passenger on earth. It wasn't loud talking, changing the radio station nor shifting in her seat. Her small fingers were wandering up Joan's thigh, making the woman's usually composed mind dull. For the first time in her life she drove though a red light, drawing police's attention and causing her deputy to laugh. Joan had to stop the car. It went quickly but the giggling woman on the passenger seat and driver's flushed cheeks were evident.

The Governor didn't even glance at the other woman. She wanted to be angry at her for disturbance but Vera's actions made her extremely aroused. That wasn't the best moment to feel that way. She took a deep breath to calm herself. Vera was looking at her with curiosity, patiently waiting for her next move. She watched her superior, focused on the road, driving into a parking lot and pulling over.

Joan unfastened her seat belt. She took the keys out of ignition and put them inside the pocket of her slacks. She got out of the car and leaned on it with her back. Vera, not sure what was occurring, got out as well.

"Why did you pull over?" She asked in confusion. Her head was barely visible from the other side of the car.

Joan didn't turn around to face the other woman. She gulped dry and looked into the empty space, trying to find the proper words. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to tell Vera anything. "You'll think less of me."

Vera made her way towards the other woman. She was standing in front of her as she spoke. "What can be worse than Hep C?"

The Governor loosened her tie and ran her hand through her grey streaked hair. Her breath became heavier than it was. She took the tie off and unbuttoned top buttons of her shirt. The cool air sent a wave of goosebumps up her cheeks. "I don't know where I should start." She pressed herself more into the car and put her hands on it.

Vera narrowed her eyes. This new face of her Governor was quite unsettling. She preferred when the tall woman had control over her. However, she wanted to hear the true Joan, not the one who lacked empathy or any other feelings.

"Everything you've heard about Jianna is nothing but the truth." She let out a long sigh.

The shorter woman was looking at Joan as long as it took to get her attention. She's learnt this technique from Ferguson. The only difference was that she was piercing holes through the other's thick skull with her eyes. "I'm not sure I understand. You shagged an inmate?" She asked foolishly, surprised at her vocabulary.

"It wasn't a shag, as you put it." Her voice raised slightly. "She was one month pregnant when she got to prison. She gave birth a few weeks before her term. She got a permission to keep the baby with her. After a few weeks, a social worker got informed about the situation and took her little boy away. She," She sobbed. "killed herself soon after that." Her voice cracked and got barely audible but Vera heard enough. The Governor's legs gave away but the deputy caught her in time. She couldn't hold her for long with her small frame. Joan tried to stand still. "I found her, Vera." She added wiped the tears away with the back of her hands.

The smaller woman didn't expect to react so emotional. She felt her eyes water. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and cleared her throat. "What about you and her?"

"When she to to Blackmore, she was scared of what she might experience inside. I promised her to protect her. She was so small, so vulnerable. I was paying her visits quite often. They consisted of nothing but conversations. We grew fond of one another. When she was further with her pregnancy, I promised her to help her get through it. By the time I was sure about the certainty of my feelings towards her." A smile sneaked to Governor's face and stayed there for a while.

Vera smiled as well, seeing sparkles in her eyes. Those weren't the remainings of tears. That was a look of joy. It wasn't enough for the deputy. She felt like she needed to ask for more. "Are you going to tell me about the really good part?" She winked but opened her eyes wide at Joan's irritated expression. "Sorry, I was just..."

"Vera, Vera, Vera. Did being a virgin for so long make you so horny or it's just the way you are?" She asked, her lips slightly twitching, showing her dimple. The other woman rolled her eyes and Joan went back to her story. "We grew intimate but we weren't shagging. We were making love. It was just a few times and we were limited to her cell. It stopped when she gave birth, of course, but it never happened again. I promised her so many things and I didn't get to keep any of them. I could have done something. I could have been with her that night." She had white salty trails of tears on her cheeks and dry lips. She leaned away from the car and opened her door. Noticing that, Vera circled the car and returned to her seat. When the Governor was about to start the car, she looked deeply into blue eyes. "You need to know there's more to this." She spoke every word carefully. Vera blinked at her, waiting for her to continue. "Her death changed me."

"How?" It was the only think she could ask about.

"How do you think I gained my nickname?" Vera furrowed her brow in confusion. "The Freak."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologise for the hiatus lasting nearly a year.
> 
> Kudos to @sick_lil_saint for helping me with this chapter a while ago :)

All Vera could hear on their journey home was the sound of engine and their own heartbeat. Joan looked up in the rear-view mirror and tightened her grip on the leather steering wheel. She wasn't prepared to see her father, who seemed to be rather displeased, seeing his daughter starting to open up in front of the other woman. She struggled not to say a word to him, knowing that Vera would give her a questioning look. 

Vera had never found out more about her precious Governor than she did that day. She was torn between feeling sympathetic and confused. She wanted Joan, she needed Joan. Yet, she was discombobulated to the point that she didn't know what to do anymore.

"Your thinking is disturbing." Joan stated, noticing her little Mouse rolling her eyes.

Instead of hearing a verbal response from her deputy, her father's voice rang in her ears. _"Do not reveal your true self in front of other people, Joan."_ Her jaw tightened and her breathing pattern changed immediately.

Inhale. Exhale. One.

Inhale. Exhale. Two.

She was counting to compose herself and hopefully muffle Ivan’s voice. _“They will use your vulnerability against you.”_

Three. Four.

Vera turned her head to the side, to have a better look at the governor. She decided against interrupting whatever was happening in Joan’s mind. If she said anything wrong, Joan would possibly never speak to her again. She couldn’t risk that, not after what they have already been through.

_“You must decide whether you want to continue this ridiculousness or not.”_

Five. Six. Seven. The breathing technique wasn’t helping.

“ _I would be forced to leave you, if your choice was the former. Be wise.”_

Eight. Nine.

_“Emotion leads to mistakes. You, of all people, should have known this by now.”_

Ten.

The Governor noticed the red light and pushed the breaks strongly enough to make the tires squeal. The deputy's veins were popping intensely on her forehead, her breathing rapid. "What the fuck, Joan?" The younger woman screamed and dug her nails in her seat. She swallowed hard on the saliva and tasted metallic flavour in her mouth. Her forehead furrowed and she felt as if she had runny nose. She automatically lifted her hand and wiped it.

Vera pinched the soft part of her nose shut and was breathing through her mouth; her free hand was fumbling in her pockets, in attempt to find a tissue that would help her stop the bleeding. What if she left blood on the leather upholstery? What if contaminated blood got onto Joan’s skin? Her heart was pounding with fear, causing chest pain and making her respiration difficult.

Joan glanced at the other woman, just before parking her car on the porch. She produced a tissue out of nowhere and handed it to Vera, trying to be careful, not to touch her blood-covered palm. However, her hand was trembling and she dropped the tissue on Vera’s lap. She opened the door quickly and shut them with a thud, only to run towards the passenger door and open it for Vera.

The smaller woman managed to wipe most of the blood away and held the tissue against her nostrils. She waited until Joan found her keys and unlocked the door of her apartment, before rushing off to the closest bathroom and leaving Joan in the hall. 

Joan leaned against the front door and let out an audible sigh. She looked down to see if she didn’t have any blood on her hands or clothes, despite the fact that she kept the distance between her and the deputy. She desperately wanted to help Vera but she didn’t want the other woman to feel more embarrassed than she already was.

She found sanitizers in the cabinet, worried about her leather seat covers, then cleaned the seats, previously putting her gloves on. She returned to the house and drank a shot of vodka, waiting for Vera and mentally preparing herself to expose her soul in front of her deputy. It wasn’t until the chestnut haired woman appeared in the living room, when Joan realised her father was absent.  


End file.
